Sharing is caring!

לַחֲלוֹק

צִיוּץ

לַחֲלוֹק

“You didn’t sound Black over the phone.”  He was bold in his assumption, but I wasn’t surprised. I’d experienced similar reactions before. I was slightly amused by his bewilderment. He looked let down, like a man set up on a blind date with an awful girl.

As familiar as his reaction was, I was not sure of how to respond. True, our communication to that point had been by means of phone. He’d undoubtedly made presumptions, which were proving to be untrue.

He loosely motioned toward a chair. התיישבתי. He began a soft interrogation.

“מאיפה אתה? Where did you go to school?” then he blurted out his real dilemma: Why do you sound white?

I should’ve been angry as he went on to describe he didn’t detect any of the colloquialisms he found common in Black people’s speech in our phone conversations. I wasn’t angry because it wasn’t my struggle. אני יודע מי אני.

What he indicated was, “You’re not who you’re meant to be.” but I was exactly who I was meant to be. He couldn’t fit me within the boundaries of his narrow assumptions. My black skin coupled with my “white” voice hijacked his preconceived conclusion. I wasn’t what he’d expected.

Have you ever made an assumption about someone based on the color of their skin or culture and your assumption [turned out to be] false?

יש לי. We’re human. lots of of us make assumptions based on race. Thankfully, I don’t have to respond according to what other people assume about me. I don’t find my worth in how other people see me or expect me to act based on my skin color.

Related  no one Expects to be Bitten by a Snake

Sadly, we live in a world where some people don’t get past the color of my skin to find out who I really am. I can’t be summed up based on skin color alone. I’m not that simple. I’ve been molded by experiences, thoughts, and beliefs, which have shaped how I choose to interpret life.

He wanted to place me in a box. When we place people in boxes we miss out. We don’t experience the fullness of who they are because we’re closed off to seeing anything outside our assumptions. drawing conclusions about people based on race or ethnicity is a form of racism. An ugly, inflammatory word that’s associated with hatred. no one wants to be called a racist. and I don’t believe a lot of people are racist.

But racism covers a broad spectrum. We’ve narrowed it to the extreme. You don’t have to be a card-carrying member of the KKK or drive a car into a crowd of protestors to be guilty of thinking prejudicial thoughts, i.e. assumptions.

We can’t step get to the root of racism without challenging our assumptions.

Look at other people the way you want them to look at you. Ask the hard questions, even if you think it makes you look like a racist. Can it be any a lot more prejudicial than asking me if:

 all five of my children biologically belong to my husband and me?

 I’ve tried one of the Black churches across town?

“colored” babies look white when they’re born?

Or admitting:

you couldn’t tell I was Black over the phone.

you grew up in the ghetto just like I did.

Related  shop for better Sleep: 5 qualities to look for in Mattress Toppers

Or telling me:

you often forget I’m Black.

I’m not like other Black people.

my house looks just like a white person’s on the inside.

you’re not racist because one of your best friends in high school was Black.

Or assuming:

my kid qualifies for a need-based scholarship before collecting any financial information.

Does making one of these assumptions or asking one of these questions make you a racist? My hunch is, no, it doesn’t. I shouldn’t anymore assume someone is racist on the basis of a question combined with their skin color than others must assume how I must speak, worship, or decorate my house on the basis of my skin color.

My skin–like how I talk, where I go to church, and how I raise my kids–is just one aspect of who I am. It doesn’t figure out my values or perspective. It doesn’t define me. עידו. My being is rooted in something much deeper than the tint of my skin.

Asking questions and seeking answers do not make you a racist. What I hope is it makes us less likely to generalize and assume.

Racism isn’t special to black and white. It’s been around considering that the beginning of time and is present in all cultures. When we minimize people to nזה הרבה יותר מצבע עור, זה לרעתנו. אנחנו מפספסים. אנו לא מרשים לעצמנו להעריך את העושר החורג מהעור. אני עדיין משועשע כשאני פוגש מישהו, ואני יכול לחוש שהם מנסים למצוא לי מקום בגבולות ההנחות שלהם.

אבל אני עדיין מחייך ומקווה שהמפגש שלנו יאלץ אותם לאתגר את הנחותיהם ולהסתכל מעבר לעור ואולי לגלות משהו יותר.

קשור מהי דלקת הלבלב?

אילו מהתפיסות שלך מראש לגבי מישהו המבוסס על צבע עור או תרבות הופרכו?

שילה קוואלס היא עיתונאית ועורכת אזרחית לשעבר בעיתון עטור הפרסים של צבא ארה”ב, התותח. שילה היא עכשיו אמא, דוברת וסופרת ביתי בבית. שילה כותבת מהניסיון של 30 שנות נישואים, חמישה ילדים, חינוך ביתי, 10 מהלכים של חברות, שני כלבים וחמוס. (יהי רצון שהם ינוחו בשלום.) היא מעוררת השראה לנשים בכך שהיא נותנת להן נוף לעולמה דרך חלון הומור ושקיפות, רגע מסורבל בכל פעם. היא עוזרת לנשים לנווט את הפיתולים והפניות הרגשות של החיים כך שהן יכולות להיות הנשים האותנטיות שאלוהים קרא להן להיות. אתה יכול לעקוב אחריה בפייסבוק או בבלוג שלה בכתובת http://www.sheilaqualls.com.

קישור לפוסט זה: גזענות לא מכוונת: כיצד לאתגר את הנחותיך ולגלות את שורש הגזענות

0/5

(0 ביקורות)

שיתוף הוא אכפתיות!

לַחֲלוֹק

צִיוּץ

לַחֲלוֹק